A Modest Proposal: Bike-Friendliness in Indy

Carmel's a "bicycle-friendly community."

If you climb on your two-wheeler and pedal north on Indy's Monon Trail, you may have noticed that slightly past 96th Street as you enter Carmel, there's a smallish blue and white sign. It says, "Bicycle Friendly Community," and it was awarded by The League of American Bicyclists. If, however, you turn around at the nicely appointed trailhead between 96th and I-465 and head back south, you won't see such a sign as you enter Indianapolis.

It's a Cap! It's a Headband! It's a Balaclava! It's... It's a Buff!

Buff UV Protection Headband

Me and my buff

A gazillion years ago when I worked in surgery, one of the OR techs made himself a new "hat" every day from a length of orthopedic stocking. Never figured out how he did that - until I got a Buff UV Headband in the colorful Osaka print.

"What's a Buff?" you ask. Well maybe a better question would be, "What isn't a Buff?" It looks like a simple cloth tube maybe twenty inches long and five inches in diameter; but it's so much more. The lightweight Coolmax® Extreme fabric with its wild print can be twisted and scrunched into a headband, neckerchief, cap, foulard, do rag, pirate hat, hat liner, face mask, balaclava, hood... a version of just about any kind of soft headgear you've ever seen or heard of. And since it's made with Coolmax, it wicks away moisture to keep your head cool in hot weather and dry in damp weather. The knit on the UV Buff is tight enough to block 95% of UV rays, yet it's so stretchy it fits almost any head in almost any orientation. It's also treated with Polygiene® active odor control if you don't like your headgear getting stinky.

A Clean Chain is a Happy Chain

Park Tool Cyclone Chain Scrubber - CM-5.2

On a recent visit to the local bike shop I got to listen while a couple of… may I say “dilettante”? cyclists brought their bikes in for repairs of the most basic sort: one’s tire kept getting soft (a slow leak) and the other’s computer wouldn’t read (a misaligned sensor).

My word, their chains must be a mess…

Not so around our house, because we have a chain cleaner: a Park Tool Cyclone Chain Scrubber CM-5.2. This handy little device is one of the keys to long drivetrain life and smooth-shifting chains. The Cyclone is a simple little plastic box that fits over your chain (any width) so you can clean out all the old lubricant plus the grit and grime accumulated on your rides.

The M.U.L.E - CamelBak Goes for Volume

CamelBak M.U.L.E Hydration Pack (100 ounce)

The exercise docs tell us that we should consume about 32 ounces of water per hour while performing endurance sports. I know, I just asked over at WebMD (a pretty trustworthy source, IYAM). As our longer rides crested three hours and headed for four, the 70-ounce CamelBak Rogue I’d used for several years was overmatched. One dare not suffer dehydration in the sweltering steam bath of a central Indiana summer day, so an alternative seemed in order. That alternative was a CamelBak M.U.L.E. (“M.U.L.E.” is a carefully contrived acronym), with its 100-ounce capacity. It’s more than a mere water bottle, however

The MULE’s designed with cyclists in mind, a low-profile pack that rests on the rider’s back out of the wind. Like all CamelBaks, there’s a polymer tube that routes from the water bladder over the shoulder to a bite valve near the cyclist’s “intake.” This pack is also designed as a sort of biker luggage, with storage galore and lots of comfort features.

No Oranges Were Harmed to Make this Degreaser

Pedro's Oranj Peelz Citrus Degreaser

If your preferred form of two-wheeled travel entails sweat, exertion and the occasional sore butt (as

opposed to loud mufflers, gray braids, and Harley-shop tee shirts), you’ve probably learned that one of the keys to keeping your machine at peak performance is keeping the chain in top condition. That means regular attention in the form of cleaning followed by treatment with a suitable lubricant. Whenever my chain feels like it needs some attention, I pull out the work stand and my Park Tool Cyclone Chain Scrubber and get down to business.

Although a small bottle of Park's Citrus ChainBrite came in the kit with the Cyclone, it was empty and the last time I hit my LBS they only had Pedro’s Oranj Peelz Citrus Degreaser in stock. It’s noticeably less expensive than the Park brand, and Pedro’s is a respectable name, so I bit.

Letting it Out On the Monon

You know those “Let it Out” comments in the Indianapolis Star? Sure you do – it’s where locals submit comments too short for a letter to the editor. There are quips, jokes, and lots of bumper-sticker ideas for solving difficult problems… oh, yeah, and a lot of political statements made by people so clueless you wonder why they're allowed to vote. But enough about that: last week, someone wrote in about the “mean” cyclists on the Monon Trail. The complaints? Not warning pedestrians as you pass them and using a strobe light. “The trail ain’t a disco,” was the complaint.

Is Indy a Bike-Friendly City?

Indianapolis Bike Infrastructure

In a word, no. Don’t just take my word for it, though, ask some of the national biking organizations what they think of the Circle City and you’ll find them frequently disappointed. The League of American Bicyclists says that Indy deserves a “bronze” award, which – if you ask me – is basically a participation trophy. By comparison, South Bend is a silver and Bloomington brought home a gold. What peeves this road cyclist is that Indy’s proudest accomplishments of the 21st century, according to the town's LAB report card, are the cultural trail and the bikeshare program. Big whoop. The town has a whole two staffers dedicated to bike programs; compared to Carmel, which has six for a population 1/10th that of Marion County.